Cristina Watches Game of Thrones – Season 1

So.  As you can probably ascertain from the title of this post, I finally get around to watching Game of Thrones.  I feel like I need to set this up correctly.  I had read the first book ages ago, before the TV show was even announced and enjoyed it.  I had always planned on watching it, but alas, I never had HBO and I couldn’t be bothered to figure out another way to watch it.  Well, I happened to get my hands on some HBO and thought “OK. It’s finally time.”

Now, I immediately had to text my two friends Joe and Antony (who will feature predominantly in these posts).  This is them:

I had the pleasure of working with these two fanatics the past two summers up at the Depot and they were always badgering me (especially this past summer) to watch it.  I (along with the rest of the house) know Joe is a VERY enthusiastic fan of the show…

I promised them this summer that when I finally got around to watching it, I would text them and let them know.  Since they have enjoyed my recounting of the episodes so much, I decided that you all might as well and I will be doing a series of posts based on our conversations. I warn you now, SPOILERS GALORE.  Also, I wasn’t exactly PG in my convos (cause the show def. isn’t) so if you’re affended easily, turn away now. Also these texts were over the course of a few days so if things seems a bit broken up that’s why.

So.  Here we go.

Cristina Watches Game of Thrones – Season 1 (with Joe and Antony).

EPISODE 1:

Me: Ok boys.  This is it. I’m starting game of thrones.

J: YUSSSSSSS!

A: OOOOHHHHH CRAP

Me:
That’s me.

J: May I request an update text in this thread after every episode or is that too much?

Me: Also I’m making the bro tell me in advance when there are gross parts.

J: That’s fair.

A: Yes updates are a must.

Me: He said I’d be fine with a pillow and that there was only one episode in the whole series where he just couldn’t look. But he says it wasn’t for a while. Season 5 he thinks.
I will update u. I promise. Even if I’m hiding under the bed while I’m doing it…

J: Yay!!!

A: Haha good. It’s really not gory at all I think. But yes do keep a pillow on hand.

J: It’s…pretty gory, I think…

Me: UMMM IVE SEEN SOME CLIPS SIR. THE GORE IS ABUNDANT.

J: Don’t’ be mean.

A: I think I’m just dead inside.

J: Maybe compared to Japanese torture porn horror it isn’t very gory.

Me: OH DEAR LORD

A: True true
I mean even on a scale of 1 to Saw, it’s only a 3
Maybe 4

Me: I’m ignoring this convo at the moment.

A: Hahaha

Me: Umm hold on having technical issues. Hahaha
F****** Roku. Keeps signing me off. Having Netflix issues with it as well.  I’m rebooting it.

A: This is a rollercoaster.

Me: Ok trying again.
Ok it’s working.
I’m scared this looks ominous.

A: Hehehe
Enjoy!!

Me: Ok just finished the first episode. Not bad. I think the first season is gonna be easier for me since I read the book haha.

J:

A: Haha very true
Knowing what’s coming will make it a bit easier.

Me: Hahaha omg joe!!
Although I can’t remember what happens to all the wolves which is prob. gonna kill me. 
I know lady is unfairly executed.
I will be turning away at that part gentlemen.

J: That part isn’t so bad, in terms of gore. It’s just emotionally distressing.

Me: THATS WHY I’M TURNING AWAY 

A: Emotional distress is lit.

Me:

J:
This is how I’m picturing you right now.

Me: Hahaha far from it actually. I was expecting more from that episode than I got.

A: Famous last words.

Me: Watch now I just jinxed myself and I’m in for it on the second. I’m holding off from watching it now though cause I’m expecting a phone call haha.
Hahaha!
Like I was expecting to be like “I MUST WATCH THE NEXT ONE RIGHT NOW” but I’m like “eh I can wait”.

A: My goodness! Don’t worry you’ll be hooked to an unhealthy level soon enough.

Me: Hahaha
I don’t know if that’s gonna be a good thing or a bad thing…

EPISODE 2:

Me: Started ep. 2. I always loved Tyrion.

A: Yay!

Me: Jon Snow always seems to have a stupefied look to his face.

A: He really does.

Me: UGH LADY!!! 
I know that little *hit Prince doesn’t die for a while but still I want to see him skewered. Little  f****r.

A: Mwahahahaha
This brings me joy.

Me: Ugh that part killed me in the books as well. 

A: This is gonna be a wild ride.

Me: Way more feelings in this episode than the last.
Do you remember whether the brother dies in this season or the next? I saw that clip on YouTube and I want to make sure I’m prepared to skip over that part…

A: Which brother?

Me: I want to watch 3 but I can’t cause Robby wants to watch the Flash at 8  and then there’s this is us at 9.
Daenerys’s brother.

A: Aha ok! Maybe episode 11

Me: In season 1?

A: Yeah.
7

Me: I’m also starting ep 3 cause f*** it.

EPISODE 3:

A: Why did it correct to 11?

Me: Haha I don’t know.

J: Just got caught up, we were out at dinner. This is wonderful.
And you’re not gonna wanna skip it. You think you will. But by the time you get there, you won’t.

Me: No I saw the clip on YouTube. I don’t need to see that again. 

A: Hahaha this is amazing.

Me: Whatever happened to Jon Snow’s wolf???
Did they cut him from the show? I don’t remember what happened to all the wolves except for lady.
Also I feel like a good drinking game would be every time you see Jon Snow with a stupefied look to his face. I’d be *hitfaced by the end of the episode.
Ok way less emotionally distressing than ep. 2.

EPISODE 4:

Me: Hearstrings!! I always loved Sam!!

J: Yeah, he’s pretty much the greatest.

A: If you follow those drinking rules, you’ll die.
Especially in the 1st season.

Me: He IS the greatest!!
Hahaha I would.
Although I think I already know Sam dies. But I can’t remember when. 

A: O rly?

Me: Doesn’t he!? He lives?????
Don’t tease me!!

A: I can neither confirm nor deny.

Me:

J: You’ll get nothing out of us.

Me: Hate you.

A: Mwahaha.

EPISODE 5:

Me: Alright gentlemen. Starting episode 5. Here we go.

A: Awww yisssss.
Has Tywin shown up?

Me: Which one is that? I don’t think so? All the names sound so similar…

A: He’s Jaime’s dad.

Me: No not yet.

A: He may not show up until season 2 come to think of it.
It’s been a while.

Me: Haha no spoilers!!

A: I won’t! Don’t worry.

Me: OMG HE CHOPPED THE *UCKING HORSES HEAD OFF!!

J: LOL

Me: I was NOT prepared for that.

J: I have been waiting for that text. I wasn’t sure exactly what it would say, but I knew it would be in caps…

Me:

J: Are you okay?

Me: Just caught off guard. Now these damn hill tribes. Oh the blood this episode!!
This is too much. I didn’t even watch half that.

A: Ahh the mountain.
Sweet memories.

Me: Ohhh is this it? Are they gonna arrest him now?

A: Maaaaayyyybe.

Me: Ohh the killing is happening. I’m not looking.
Tell me Jaime gets his in the end.
Oh and they’re fighting.
I’m not looking.
CHEATING.

A: Hahaha.

Me: That was a bloody episode.

A: Jaime is my favorite character

Me: He’s one f’d up dude.

A: He is indeed.

Me: Gimme Sam or Jon Snow any day.
Or Arya. I love her.

A: She is rather awesome.

J: Arya only gets better.

Me: OMG YES

J: She has an amazing arc.

Me: cause she’s awesome to begin with. I always liked her in the book too.

A: But Bronn and Davos! You haven’t met those right proper lads yet.

Me: STOP SPOILING.

A: It’s just names!!!
Hehe

Me: Oh *hit I think the next episode is when the brother gets the melted crown.

A: Yay!!!!

Me: No yay!!!
Here we go…

EPISODE 6:

Me: Also the sister was *ucking crazy with the kid still breastfeeding. That was all kinds of messed up.

A: Haha yeah.
Season 1 was so awesome.

Me: The queen just deserved that slap.
I mean some of this gore is just unnecessary.

A: Gore is always necessary.
By jove.

Me: No not really.

A: Always.

Me:

A: Hahaha

Me: Oh gross to the extreme. What the *uck is she eating!? A *ucking heart!!!

A: Haha why yes it is.

Me: BAHAHA TYRION.
This confession is brilliant.
These dizzying heights are giving me vertigo though.

A: Haha I love the Vale.

Me: Ok I skipped the “crowning”.
I don’t know if I’m emotionally ready to see Ed Stark die. I love me some Sean Bean.

A: What!? Ya lousy skipper
And yeah, Sean Bean is the best

Me: I already saw that part on YouTube!! I can’t handle anymore after the horse!
I’m falling into the episode vortex though…do I watch another one??

A: Yes you do.
Do it!

J:

Me: I’m doing it. Also I’m making oatmeal.

A: Sounds like a plan.

EPISODE 7:

Me: Bed is a bit of an idiot though. I even thought so in the book.
*Ned
Bed is never idiotic. I love my bed.

A: Bed is the best.

Me: But Ned it stupid. Like oh let me reveal my plans to you! Idiot.

A: Too trusting and honorable.
Loser.

Me: Haha
Oh Ned. You’re so trustworthy. He has been captured. And so it begins.

A: Oh darn.

Me: And last one for the evening boys.

EPISODE 8:

A: Awww yeah.
What episode?

Me: Umm we’re up to episode 7 or 8 I think? They’re slaughtering all of Ned’s house.
The boy Arya killed was a horrible actor.

A: Hehe yeah.

Me: Ok the Drogo fight was pretty dam gross and HELLO ZOMBIE MAN.

A: Awwwww yissss.

Me: He ain’t confessing *hit.
Episode 8 is finished.

A: Noice
Are you enjoying it?

Me: I am overall. But I could do with less blood and gore.

A: Weiner

Me:

A: Yeah I know.

EPISODE 9:

Me: Ok episode 9 here we go!
Wait do they kill him in this episode!?!?

J: I’ll never tell.

Me: Omg they do don’t they!?!? OMG
I CAN’T WATCH
Wait what!? He says Geoffrey is true king??
Wtf??
*UCKING GEOFFREY

J: He’s a little *ickbag, ain’t he?

Me: HE’S SUCH A LITTLE *HIT *UCK

J: Lol

Me: Ok I thought he was gonna die in the last episode.
I wasn’t prepared for that.
I mean I WAS but I wasn’t.
Geoffrey you little *uck hole.

J: Neither was Ned…

Me:

A: I just saw this.
This is beautiful.

Me: 

A: Hahahaha
I was in disbelief when I first saw it.
I was like no way.
But yep.

Me: I mean I knew he was gonna die but I thought they were gonna do it on the last episode!

A: I had no clue when I saw it.
I was awestruck.
So I read all the books INSTANTLY

Me: Awww haha.

J: Same.

Me: Haha.

J: I was so depressed.

Me: I read the first book so I knew. But it was a shock when I first read it.

A: Same
God.
Have you only read the first book?

Me: I knew from then on, nobody was safe.
Only the first one.

A: Oh God.

Me: I don’t think I’m gonna have the patience to read the rest cause I want to watch the rest of the seasons haha.

A: Just watch it.
Haha
It’s fantastic.

Me: Hahaha

EPISODE 10:

Me: Ok last episode of season 1 here we go!

J: You got this.

Me: Who’s the guy with Arya? I can’t remember seeing him before.

A: Woooo!!!
The guy? Syrio Forell!
The first sword of Braavos.

Me: Who’s that?
Geoffrey is once again one sick *uck. Making her look at the heads.

A: The guy with Arya!

Me: Yeah I know but did we seem him before? He’s the dancing teacher? It doesn’t look like him.

J: He and Ned were buds.
Not the sword guy.
You mean the guy who grabbed her when Ned got executed.

Me: Yeah I don’t remember him.  Haha I know they were buds cause Ned told him to hide Arya with that look but I couldn’t figure out who he was.

J: Not Syrio.

Me: Yeah.
That guy who’s that guy?

A: Oh that’s Yoren.
The Night Watch brother.

Me: OHHHH
GOTCHA
Very moving King of the North scene.
Poor Khal drogo.

A: Awwww

Me: There be dragons!
That was great.
I have to wait till 9 to start the next one cause Sheldon is on tonight haha.

A: Woooo! So excited for you to see the next 2 seasons.

 

And that was it for season 1 ladies and gentlemen.  Believe me, it only gets better from here.  For all those GOT fans, what was your favorite part of Season 1?

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