Sub Life: 2016-2017 School Year

As many of you know, I substitute teach.  It’s great because it’s flexible enough with my performance/writing schedule and I can always return to it if I’ve booked an out of town gig.  Now, subbing comes with its own share of headaches (as I’m sure some of you may be quite familiar with), but it definitely has some amusing antidotes–the kids especially.

I decided to keep a record of some of my favorites this year for your enjoyment. Since it’s the last day of school here in NYC ( I KNOW.  Ridiculously late), I thought I’d share them all with you.

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Hey 2017, get it together!

I got a phone call from the bro a few months ago.

“Oh my God, Cristina.”
“What?? What happened?”
“I just had the worst class I’ve ever had in all my years of subbing/teaching.”

And it was the worst class.  It was fifth grade and they were off the wall.  You know when you’re warned from the secretary that morning that it’s not going to be good.  We’re not talking just some snarky behavioral issues (but there was plenty of that as well).  We’re talking throwing things, cursing at the teacher, gluing and cutting things you shouldn’t be gluing and cutting like, I dunno, your HANDS.

He then told me he had a student teacher with him that was, sorry to say, completely useless.  All that teacher would say when a student did something abhorrent was “Get it together!”

Cause that’s really going to work when you have kids standing on tables and running out of the classroom.

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